Apple jokes

• A nigger and an apple fall from a tree at the same time. Which one hits the ground first?The apple. The rope stops the nigger.
• There was a blackout in my street last night...Everyone had to stay indoors until the police shot the cunt!
• Apparently about 1 person in 10 is homosexual.Also around 1 person in 10 uses an Apple Mac.Coincidence?
• I love September 11th.On this day every year my Muslim neighbours make me apple crumble.
• I was watching American Pie the other day and I thought, "I might try that." I didn"t have any pie, so I made do with an apple. Chris Martin wasn"t very happy.
• What"s the difference between an apple and a baby?You don"t ejaculate on an apple before you eat it.
• What"s worse than finding a maggot in your apple?Rape.
• What"s round, hard and smells of apple?Chris Martin"s fist.
• A man goes to the doctor"s for a cock extension. The doctor suggests a baby elephant"s trunk stitched on, at a cost of £5,000. The man agrees.Six weeks later, whilst having dinner with a new woman, he feels an unusual stirring in his pants and thinks, "this is the night".Whilst chatting over dinner, his cock flies out and steals an apple off the table and then goes back."Wow!" she says. "Can you do that again?"He says, "my cock can, but I don"t think my arse can take another apple."
• What"s the difference between an apple and an orange.You don"t hear of too many apple bastards.