Alzheimers jokes

• How many Alzheimer"s patients does it take to change a lightbulb?To get to the other side.
• The other week I made a joke about Alzheimer"s live on TV.You should have seen the envelopes I got.
• Doctor: It"s bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer"s. Patient: Oh well, it could be worse - at least I don"t have cancer.
• Roses are red,Violets are blue,I"ve got Alzheimer"s,This little piggy went to market.
• This years Alzheimer"s Society annual fair will be a day to remember.
• Do you want to join the Alzheimer"s protest march? If so, learn the chant..."What do we want?" "I don"t know!" "When do we want it?" "Want what?"
• I thought I was getting Alzheimer"s until I found out that every time I fell asleep my wife was moving the bookmark forward 20 pages.Still I got her back by making her think she"s incontinent. Every time she falls asleep I piss on her lap.
• I went to the doctors today.Turns out i have Chicken Pox and Alzheimer"s.But thats not all, I also have chicken pox
• The well known phrase, "I" before "E" except after "C" usually applies, except in "Alzheimer"s"...What happened, did they forget?
• They say laughter is the best medicine.My grandad has Alzheimer"s and we"ve been laughing at him for years and he hasn"t got any better.
• Whats the worst thing about being told you have Alzheimers? it doesn't just happen the once
• A comedian did a turn at the Alzheimers annual party. he told the same joke a hundred times. Afterwards the chairman thanked him and said, "They were great jokes, I don't know how you remember them all."
• Two elderly couples chatting. One of the men says: "We went to a great restaurant last night." "What's it called?" asked his pal. He racks his brain, then he says: "What's that red flower you give to someone you love?" "A rose," his mate says. "Rose," calls the man, "what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
• Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.