Allah jokes

• Why did the Prophet Mohammed marry a six-year-old?Because he was a paedophile.
• Paedophiles are fucking immature arseholes.
• Worst thing ever to hear on a plane."This is you captain speaking.....PRAISE BE TO ALLAH!!!!!"(Mock the Week)
• Arab scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the middle ages.They"re calling it "Islam".
• Personally, it"s not Allah I dislike, it"s his fan club I can"t stand.
• Why are there no pictures of the prophet Muhammad?Because he"s an ugly cunt who fucks kids.
• Apparantly Allah is having real problems at the moment. With so many suicide bombers, he is really struggling to find the 72 virgins that have been promised to each and every one of them. It"s getting so bad, he might even have to consider female virgins as a substitue.
• Iraqi TV GuideMONDAY8:00 Husseinfeld8:30 Mad About Everything9:00 Suddenly Sanctions9:30 Allah McBealTUESDAY8:00 Wheel of Fortune and Terror8:30 The Price is Right if Saddam Says its Right9:00 Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things9:30 Iraq"s Funniest Public Execution BloopersWEDNESDAY8:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer8:30 Diagnosis: Heresy9:00 Just Shoot Me9:30 VeilwatchTHURSDAY8:00 Mahatma Loves Chachi8:30 M*U*S*T*A*S*H9:00 Veronica"s Closet Full of Long, Black,Shapeless Dresses9:30 My Two BaghdadsFRIDAY8:00 Judge Saddam8:30 Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things9:00 Achmed"s Creek9:30 No-witness News
• The danish newspaper editor who enraged muslims by printing a cartoon has apologised and said, it was never his intention to upset the muslim people.His new book "Allah is a cunt" goes on sale tomorrow.
• A Muslim suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise. Once in paradise, he finds himself surrounded by 72 of the ugliest skanks anyone has ever laid eyes upon. A bemused Allah then says to him, "why do you think they"re still virgins?"