Adam jokes

• Why did god make Adam before Eve?To give Adam a chance to talk.
• Adam was roaming around the Garden of Eden making up names for all the animals that were there. He also noticed that there were two kinds of each species - male and female. And he also noticed that most of the animals were mating and seemed to be enjoying this very much. So, he went to his special place and called out in a loud voice, "Hey, God!". And a loud booming voice replied, "Yes, Adam".Adam: "Hey, God - There"s an awful lot of animals down here."God: "Yes, Adam - I have created many species and I trust you have not run out of names for them."Adam: "No, that"s not the problem. But, I have noticed that there are two kinds of each species."God: "Yes, Adam. One kind is male and the other is female."Adam: "Hey, God - why is there a male and a female of each species ?"God: "So they can mate and procreate. This will ensure the continuation of the species."Adam: "Hey, God."God: (sigh) "Yes, Adam."Adam: "Which am I?"God: "You, Adam, are a male."Adam: "Hey, God, I"ve noticed that most of the animals are mating --- and they seem to be really enjoying themselves. If it isn"t too much trouble, do you think...maybe,....I could..."God: "All right, Adam. The time has come for me to provide you with a mate. Go lie down and when you have fallen asleep, I will create your mate."So, Adam leaves his special place, finds a patch of soft grass under a tree, lies down, and falls asleep. Some time later he awakes (possibly due to a slight pain in his side) and heads immediately to his special place.Adam: "Hey, God."God: "Yes, Adam."Adam:"Hey, God - did you remember to do what you promised ?"God: "Yes, Adam. While you were sleeping I created for you a mate. Her name is Eve. You will find her in the bushes near the place where you were sleeping."Adam rushes off to find Eve in the bushes. A few minutes later he is back at his special place, calling ...Adam: "Hey, God."God: "Yes, Adam."Adam: "What"s a headache?"
• Adam and Eve were walking in the Garden of Eden. They came across God who was putting a few finishing touches to the scenery."Oh! Hello you two," said God cheerfully. "I was hoping to see you today. I"m just finishing things off and I"ve got two gifts left in my bag to share out between you.""Oh, what are they?" asked Adam excitedly."Well the first is a little "hose" to urinate through," said God. "I"ve called it a penis.""Oh brilliant!" exclaimed Adam. "That would be so cool. Just think what I could do with that! I could have competitions to see how far up the wall I could pee, or write my name in the snow, or pee without having to sit down. Hey, I could leave the toilet seat up and annoy the missus. I could have a right good time with that. I"d love that God. Can I have it please?""OK Adam, there you go," said God as he present Adam with his new penis. He looked at Eve and uttered, "Well Eve, it looks like you"re going to have to make do with multiple orgasms."
• God found Adam in the Garden of Eden and asked, "Where"s Eve?""She started bleeding so she went down by the stream to wash" said Adam."Oh no!" said God, "We have to stop her!""Why?" said Adam, alarmed."Because I"ll never get the smell out of the fish!"
• Why did God create Eve?To iron Adam"s leaf.
• Why did god create Adam before he created Eve?Because he didn"t want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
• There are three men standing at the gates of heaven. God says, "to enter heaven you must answer one question each."God says to the first man, "who was the first woman on Earth?"The first man says, "that"s easy: Eve".God says, "correct, you"re in."God says to the second man, "who was the first man on Earth?"The second man says, "that"s easy: Adam."God says, "correct, you"re in."God says to the third man, "what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"The third man says, "God, that"s a hard one!"God says, "correct, you"re in."
• A little girl asked her father, "How did the human race appear?" The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made." Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her father and said, "Dad how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mummy said they developed from monkeys?" The father answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your mother told you about hers."
• Why did God create Eve?Adam demanded it, as soon as he discovered that he couldn"t suck his own cock.
• Why did God make man first?He didn"t want Eve standing around telling him how to make a man.