69 jokes

• How many of the Lost cast does it take to change a lightbulb?Only one, but it will take 20 episodes.
• What is the difference between a 69 and a Paki wedding?With a 69 you only have to kiss one smelly cunt.
• How many smart Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?Both of them.
• The other night my girlfriend and I had parked in a quiet road for a bit of fun when a policeman caught us. He gave me a ticket for doing 69 in a 30mph zone...
• How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?Four - one to change the bulb, one to obtain an energy-saving bulb, one to carefully recycle the old bulb, and one to suck my cock.
• How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs;
• How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb?Only Juan
• How many narcoleptics does it take to change a zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
• How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?One, but it takes a whole emergency room to screw it back out!
• How many Wigan Athletic fans does it take to change a lightbulb?Both of them.
• A bloke pulls a Chinese lass at a club. She say "me so horny, me do anythin for you"Bloke says "how a bout a 69?"she says "you fuck off, me no cooking at this time of night!"
• How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?Wait a minute, where"s it gone?
• A man was having problems with premature ejaculation. This was affecting marital relations with his wife so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem.In response the doctor said, "When you feel the urge to ejaculate, try startling yourself".On the way home the man went to a sports store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try out this suggestion he runs home to his wife. When he gets home he is surprised and delighted to find his wife in bed, already naked. He"s so horny and keen to try out his new "system" that he doesn"t think twice and leaps on board.After a few minutes "slap and tickle", they find themselves in the "69" position. Sure enough, only moments later the man feels the sudden urge to come. Following doctor"s orders, he grabs the starter pistol off the bedside table and fires it.The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?"The man answered, "Just great, asshole...when I fired the pistol my wife shat on my face, bit three inches off my dick and my neighbour came out of the closet naked with his hands in the air!"
• How many Labour Politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?None, Labour don"t change anything.