Random Jokes - HaHas.co.uk
- Jordan has told her new boyfriend that she wants an all white wedding
"great" he said "cos that little fat cunt Harvey gives me the creeps
- Why are the top jokes on this site like African Politicians?Because they have only got where they are because of dodgy multiple voting!
- I like my sex like i like my musicLoud, Heavy, fast and 3 and a half minutes long
- A survey of schools found one in seven children aged 5 struggles to write their own name.But I bet they still manage to write CUNT on the toilet wall.
- With Hurricane Gustav approaching one million people are fleeing New Orleans.They know there"s nothing worth staying to loot this time.
- Enoch Powell stood crying his eye"s out at the cliff edge...A man goes up to him to ask what the problem is:-"What"s wrong Enoch, why are you so upset?""A bus load of Paki"s has just driven over the cliff!!""Surely that"s no reason to be so upset?""It is!! There was one fucking seat free!"
- What"s the difference between an Essex Girl and a Walrus?One"s got whiskers and stinks of fish... and the other one"s a walrus.
- Did you hear about the Pakistani who bought an odour-eater?It ate him.
- What"s black and runs into walls?Jordan"s baby.
- I had sex in the back of my dad"s car once.He was pretty angry when he looked in his rear-view mirror.
- Always slash the eyes of your rape victims.That way they have to identify you by taste.
- What should you do when you see a Frenchman drowning?
Throw him a bar of soap.
- why is a pussy like a joke? cause they are fanny
- Red riding hood was walking through the forest when all of a sudden the big bad wolf jumped out and said "Take your blouse off so I can suck your tits!". Red riding hood pulls down her knickers lies on the ground and says "Fuck off, eat me like the book fuckin says!!"
- Jack and Jill went up the hill, so Jack could lick Jill's fanny. Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock, coz Jill was a fuckin' tranny!
- I had my credit card stolen the other week,
I haven't reported it, as the thieves are spending less than the Wife.
- Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I"m getting a boob job." The second woman says "Oh that"s nothing, I"m thinking of having my asshole bleached!" To which the first replies, "Whoa I just can"t picture your husband as a blonde!"
- What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson"s dreams every night?Hanson.
- The good die young...oh boy maddie was good!
- Why don"t black people go on cruises?They"re not falling for that one again.
- Q: How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? A: Pokemon!
- If war was to break out in Europe, this time I think the loser should be made to keep France.
- Why are Jews noses so big?Because air is free!
- two peanuts were talking down the street and one was a salted
- I wanked over a blind girl yesterday.She never saw me coming.
- A miserable looking man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a triple whisky.The Bartender raises an eyebrow and says "that"s some pretty strong poison you"re ordering, you must be fucking miserable."The man says "well I just found my wife in bed with my best friend, so yeah I"m feeling pretty bad".The Bartender is shocked by the man"s story so he gives him the drink on the house and asks him to tell the story."I came home and walked into our bedroom, then I saw them together, I told her that we were through and to pack her things.""And what did you do with your friend?" the Bartender inquired."I looked him right in the eye and I said, "bad dog!"" he replied.
- Elton John has never owned a parrot, but he has had a Cockatoo.
- What"s worse than leaving your three-year-old and your twin two-year-olds at home alone?Having Mr and Mrs. Mccann take them on holiday.
- Amy Winehouse"s health is at risk due to her crack problem.Her doctors say that if she doesn"t wash it soon, she"ll get gangrene.
- I remembered today that the kids are back to school soon, so I rushed out and bought my daughter a uniform.I tell you what, she makes one fucking sexy French Maid.